Breathing.

I decided to follow suit and left my bed earlier (I know, so very early was I in bed!) and walked to the end of my street. If you walk literally to the end of my road, you come to the sea. It's not some sort of crashing, exciting sea...not like back home in Devon. It's the still sea that you find on the edge of houses. With boats and lots of buoys.

So I went and sat down on one of the best benches (not quite THE best) and it started to rain. Then...I breathed. I don't think I've sat down and breathed quite so deeply for such a long time.
It actually made me cry.

I love that I can be the busiest person and yet as soon as I sit for 5 minutes and breathe deeply, it feels like everything stops. It was so calming. And I think it brought to the surface stuff which I still needed to hand over to God. Certain relationships, worries...things that I actually believe I've given over to Him. And yet I haven't. I still try and work things out in my own time and my own way.

It was freeing handing them over.

But I know I'll need to do exactly the same thing again tomorrow. And the next day. And the next.

When was the last time you stopped to breathe?

Pictures of Jesus

Where have you seen Jesus today?

Swine flu?

Life is good. I have a cold, but its leaving. The swine is leaving! I woke up this morning with a bad back, but thats loads better now. I have a pretty relaxed week ahead of me. I am going swimming tomorrow early in the morning - always a great way to start the day. I spoke to my best friend on the phone today :-)

It can't really get much better than this.

Or can it? Where is Jesus?! Have I become complacent? Am I just going through life; including God when I want; praying sometimes; reading the Bible as a ritual...

I don't want to be one of those people who just gets on with life and its kinda okay. I want to push further! I want something extraordinary! I want my life to be something more, no longer stale and although a challenge/inspiration to those around me, no longer an inspiration to myself.

That's sad.

Wow, God has really been flipping things right over since my feelings of frustration last week! I think that God is reminding me that this is where I should be. He's faithful and all that. Well good.

Aaaaargh

I'm feeling frustrated. I am overthinking things and getting annoyed, and feeling like I'm not in the right place. Even though I know I'm in the right place. I know that God has put me here, and I know my decision to stay is right. But it feels so hard.

And I don't know where to go with these feelings. Talking it over is often so helpful, but sometimes it just stirs up frustration even more. Not by any means because of the people I'm speaking to...but just because I am dwelling on the thoughts.

God knows how I'm feeling. And He knows my worry - that I will lose motivation and not give 100% to the work I am doing. I don't want to lose heart. I don't want to stop being passionate about the youth work. I don't want to forget what He has called me to.