Monday, April 26, 2010

You wont get if you don't ask...

O Jesus, how much do I long for more of you? It's when I get tired of waiting for earthly desires that I realise how incredibly fulfilling you are. You satisfy every part of me. And yet I keep asking the same things; like a child to their parent not knowing when to stop asking. Renew in me a sense of awe, that I might glimpse glory and live! Like Moses who saw your face - Lord, let your glory fall. Isaiah 64 says, "Lord, rend the heavens and come down." I am thirsty.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Embarassing Church

Recently, I have found Church 'services' (and services being the key word) boring, frustrating and unfortunately, embarassing. It is hard to pin point why I am feeling this way. There are some things that I think could be changed, i.e. a more professional sound to the music or more passionate speakers. I am embarassed by the cheesy and cliche quality to what we offer on a Sunday. I often ask myself the question, "Would I want to invite a friend here?" and the answer is usually no. But the things that frustrate me, I think, are more of a general Church 'service' niggle. Why do we have to 'do' Church the way we do - why Sundays, long talks, stand up and sit down?

I asked this awesome lady at Church yesterday to pray for me, along with my awesome friend Abi, and that was that. Then this lady dropped something off at my house this morning, and it said this:

"Most of the people I know who are really making a difference in the world are not comfortable within themselves. Some of them are quite turbulent emotionally and possess what I believe is a gift from God, that of agitation. Some of us need to accept the unsettled feeling that haunts us daily and drives us to pray about the state of the world, the challenges of the Church and the problems we see in people's lives around us. We feel stirred up and we always will, whatever progress is made.

Perhaps this is what happened to young Samson as he considered the Philistine domination of Israel. Anger, frustration and hope clashed in his heart, as ‘the Spirit of the Lord began to stir him’ (Judges 13:25). This was the result of the blessing of God (Judges 13:24). Agitation may not be a sign of God’s displeasure, but of His calling. We’ve seen that Samson was probably frustrated by the plight of his tribe, whose land may already have been seized by the Philistines.

Perhaps you live with a sense of Spirit-inspired turbulence. Ask God to give you a strategy to enable it to produce action.”


Isn't that cool? What a way of thinking about it - that my uncomfortableness can be a gift! Obviously, the challenge is the hardest part; putting my frustrations into action and being involved in change. But the article above (by Jeff Lucas) affirmed that I am not a 'falling-away' or heretical Christian for being frustrated with Church.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Gaye

Listening to Marvin Gaye yesterday. Flip, he is ridiculous! Haha. But his songs are just awesome. The motown ones are all about love. The funkier, 80's ones are all about sex. (Which is not necessarily what makes them awesome songs)...

I love listening to music that I haven't in a long time, and being reminded how much I love it. And that I always get new things out of music - even stuff I've heard billions of times before.

Ironically, his songs made me feel a bit lonely.