Thoughts...

I don't like that people build up an image of you and then get shocked when you tell them something about yourself.

I am a jealous person. I think over things too much and care what people think too highly. I read into things that aren't there, and I too easily give my heart away. And because of this I get crushed; I start to believe that nothing I hope for will come true and everything I try to do will fail.

And it's a vicious circle. I so desperately want God to take my dreams and, like magic, to sort the problems and do the things I want. But I know that isn't going to happen. When they don't "come true" I get despondant and tired of trying; my heart physically aches and I get weary.

Have you ever experienced that? A literal aching of the heart? It feels like something is heavy inside of you.

I feel a little lost.